| Still haven't found a job. But things could be worse. I'm used to the city now. I can find things pretty easily. I don't feel so lost. It's the simple things that get me through the day. As it is I'm close to just staying in bed all day and giving in. I know something will come along.
It's hard to go after your dreams. To go after what you want. Not even hard really, just terrifying. I had settled in to a routine. I knew what I would get out of life there. And it wasn't what I wanted.
Tomorrow I start again. Every night I convince myself that tomorrow will be the day. It never is.
I wish I could write what I really feel.
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind
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| Well I'm all moved in and now looking for a job. YIKES. It's only been a couple days but I feel like I'll never find one. I just can't stand to be inactive for long. If I think too hard on the fact that I am currently unemployed I start to have a panic attack. Not good. So I don't think about it. And that is pretty much how I deal with a lot of things. I don't recommend it because eventually it will sneak up on you.
The new place is very nice. Very clean and new. Even with all my things in my room I still feel like it's empty and plain. It just hasn't been lived in enough yet. I'm giving it time.
I have to constantly stay busy and have a plan for the next day or I start to get lonely. And that is not a good thing when I am essentially all alone. Of the three other roommates living here, all are gone except for the one that I did not know. She's very nice and easy to talk to. But, in case you didn't know, I happen to be the most awkward person alive. Wish me luck.
It's good to be back, just a little overwhelming. I'm taking it one step at a time.
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| I try to update. All the time. But the words won't come. |
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| There are some nights you just want to keep driving. |
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| Well, it's been a while. I don't have time for an actual update because I have to go to work. But everytime I get on the computer I feel guilty for not updating. This time the guilt has worked.
I'm moving in a couple months and I could not be more excited. Starting over is terrifying, but worth it.
And now work. Blah. |
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